September 30, 2012

Listening to Him

Not sure where to start on this one...

How to explain this event? How to work into it?

I have this belief, this hope, that the God I'm chasing after, is more than a god, more than a king. Don't get me wrong, He is both God and King, but He is more.

You see, a god and a king have always been portrayed to me as a person who at their best cares for the greater good, the benefit of the population, but when it comes to the concerns of the individual, why would he care? Why would he take time to sit down with you and just talk? Why would he help you through your seemingly endless, and yet meaningless problems?

Yet I hope. Hope for a relationship with my God and King. I want to be the one that He talks to. And so I have sought and prayed to hear His voice speaking to me. For the last four years I have sought this kind of a relationship with Him.

It has been a long journey, many times I have thought I had heard Him, but it took time, and I often wondered if I was imagining the voice. So many of the things said were so easy to write off as logical thoughts for me to have. And yet I sought His voice.

Today is one of those days that reminds me of how far I've come. How the Lord has healed my ears to hear.

I was working on a project, and this one has many small rings. As I was adding this ring it dropped, as they do from time to time. It's a small silver ring on grey carpet, a needle in a haystack if you will. Unless the light hits it just right, these parts are very difficult to find. I decided to look for it anyways, hoping that He might lead me in the search, though seemingly insignificant (the part is worth a fraction of a penny).

I start looking for it where I think I heard it drop. Look for a few seconds. Then a voice chimes in.
"Look down idiot".

Let's pause there. Number one thing. Jesus doesn't talk to me like that, He doesn't talk to you like that. You are His, not as a possession, but as His one love. Though He can be stern at times, as a mother with her child, He will never cuss you out, nor will He demean you, nor will He yell at you.

However I know someone who does... the devil.

I ignored him, satan, I moved the table in front of me to get a better look at the spot that it had fell. Then to my sorrow, I found a ring, where the devil had indicated for me to look (keep reading, this is a terrible place to stop, it gets better). I was beat down, but not destroyed. My mind started running, trying to explain it away, maybe it was a different ring? Then I heard the voice that I Love, calm and still, but as unmoving as a, as well something unmovable!


He didn't need to tell me where to look, He didn't need to tell me how obvious of a find it was. I only needed to listen, and to obey. Not to look where satan had directed me, but to where I had started looking at first.

I looked. And I didn't see anything.
But I needed to know that my God is who He said He is. Regardless of whether there was a ring there when i looked the past two times or not, I needed to know He cared to speak to ME.
I needed to believe in HIM. HE could create a ring for me if there wasn't one there before. But I needed to believe in His word to me.


So I looked again, and there I found the ring. Separate from the first.
He spoke, and I heard, and I sought. He provided where there was once seemingly nothing.

Call it a coincidence. There just happened to be another ring there. "This kid probably has rings all over".
Let me ask you something though. Why are you still reading this?
You long for something more, as I do. Know that it can be found.


As are most of these posts, this is a reminder to me, for times of encouragement in my unbelief and to help me chase after Him. I hope these posts are also an encouragement to you, whether you walk with Him everyday, or if you have never found Him. Seek Him.

May 24, 2012

Joy and the Fulfillment of life :-) Or the start

(Or 'Turning a New Leaf')

What Star Trek reminded me of...

The most rewarding times in recent life, most fulfilling, even most joyful, are those in which I have sought after what God, and through Him and my love for Him, I, have wanted.

I have known that God wanted us to choose Him. Not to be forced to follow Him, but actually choose Him, of our accord, of our desires.

I believe this also translates into our lives. We must be obedient, but instead of, we need to love Him!

I chose to go to North Central
I chose to go to the altar
I chose to sing, I chose to make, and to build, and create
I chose to write
I chose to love nature
I chose to love life
I chose to love His people
I chose to love my God

No longer in obedience will I follow my Christ, my Savior, my Jesus.
I will follow Him with love with all that is within me!

To obey my God is to love Him:
"If you love me, keep my commands." - John 4:15

Life is no longer a box in which we must stay inside the borders to avoid sin. Starting in sin outside the border of the box, and moving into life, inside the box.

Rather life is outside the box, and inside is sin, where we start. After we leave the box of sin we move outside the border into obedience to Him. And even more so we grow and move from obedience into life, true life! Into a relationship with my creator!

I choose to go to the altar
I choose to sing, I choose to make, and to build, and create
I choose to write
I choose to love nature
I choose to love life
I choose to love His people
I choose to love my God

After all...
" that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me."
~John 4:31b

~In awe of His mercy, and His goodness, and His wonders, and what He has for me!
'Lord, never let me go back to where I was, but lead me, and watch over my steps as I grow into the fullness of what you have for me'

I chose to watch Star Trek ;-)

March 22, 2012


Let me paint a beautiful picture to you. The things that we as Christians dream of. A life on fire for our savior, to not care what the world has to say about us, because it's all for Him. A world on fire for Him. Passion for our savior sweeping through every town and village. Worship, true worship of Him. Unhindered unseparated by the things of this world, and the distractions of our mind. An unquenchable hunger for His word and to be with Him in prayer. A desire for His people. A fire that pushes us past our boundaries and into a world crying out for Him.

And so we dream. We sit back and silently cry when we hear of missionaries and distant revivals. And we ask, "can He use me?" We sink back, thinking that He could never use us. How could He use someone who struggles so hard just to live for Him each day?

Maybe it's not even wishing He would use me. Maybe I'm scared if He reaches out to touch me, and whispers in my ear "It's your turn." To fall off the cliff, gasping for breath, in utter abandon. How long have I fallen? Because once you step off, you're committed. There is no turning back. There is no midway. Your paradigm has changed. There is no longer forwards, backwards, and standstill. There is only forwards, and where ever He leads us.

But what do we fear? Is it the fall? Our what we will encounter in that fall? It's that risk. giving up our control. Trusting wholly in Him. But when have we ever been satisfied by normal? When do we feel alive? Whenever we have taken that step. Whether it's a step towards the altar. Thump. Or the step towards a crying stranger. Thump Thump. Telling that perfect someone how we feel. Thump. You hear that? Thump Thump. That's your heart beating. I'll bet you forgot about it. Because the heart that He gave you, it can take so much more. He made you for so much more.

I'm still scared.

But when He calls me. I pray I take the plunge before I think twice. To leap with abandon into what only God can see.

June 14, 2011

Remembering God's Faithfulness

This one is more for me than for anyone else. I use this blog much as others use a journal, as a remembrance of things past, and lessons learned.w I write today first, to recount what God has accomplished, and second to have a marker of God's faithfulness once we reach the other side. Yet, I also hope that this still speaks to someone else out there. I pray that these words encourage someone to keep moving, and to keep trusting in our God, our Savior.

Today I find myself between a fulfillment of one promise, and at the same time on my knees asking for His continued faithfulness. Yesterday, I interviewed for a job, and shortly after was hired. I have prayed for a job for many months now, and have been waiting for God to provide one of His choosing. And Yesterday I saw that fulfillment of a promise from Him. Today though I woke up and checked my e-mail and saw my financial aid for this coming year. Immediately, my faith was again put to the test. I cannot see if this is either an attack from the enemy, or a solidification of God's lesson that I have already begun. No doubt it was Satan's intent to break me, and my trust in God, but how can I so easily rip my faith away from my Father when I just saw Him work out my issues? How can I have sat in this dorm room for the past month, jobless, knowing that my God would provide a job for me, yet not trust Him to take care of my school finances? As one of our school's old professors said,'The zeros at the end of the check (or bill in this matter) make no difference o God.'

He is faithful, and He is true, and He WILL provide for His children. And what is more, He always has.

I choose to put my faith in Him. Where else do I have to turn?

June 9, 2011

God's Love

Over the past month or so, God has been teaching me something that I have known for a long time, but never correctly understood.

The concept that God is good and faithful to us despite what we do. He has been showing me my imperfections, and wiping the lie away that His promises won’t be fulfilled if I am not completely perfect at ever moment.

Yes, we will be made perfect, but we are not perfect now. That’s something that Satan loves to twist. He loves to tell us that we need to be perfect always for God to love us, for God to bless us. Then Satan shows us all of our imperfections as an accusation.

He shows us our imperfections out of hatred, but our Father shows us our imperfections that they may not hinder us from coming to Him. He actually means them to be a means to propel us into His arms, into His mercy, into His grace, into His blessing.

I now know that when I screw up, God won't take away what He has promised to give. But most importantly, I now know that He loves His work in progress, just as I am, just as you are, where we are.

Just a thought I wanted to share.

June 3, 2011

Listening to hear His voice

I wrote this post because often I had asked people what God’s voice sounded like. I hoped that somehow if I knew the characteristics of His voice, that I might be able to start hearing him. All I got back was, “Well, it’s a still small voice.” What does that mean? How am I going to sort a voice like that from my thoughts?

So I started my own journey. I made it my goal to hear His voice, and by extension to know the characteristics of His voice. It has been a long journey, and I have learned much along the way, and still am.

What can I say about His voice? How can I put into words, the things I have learned? My base came from this scripture:

You may be asking yourselves, "How can we tell if a prophet's message really comes from the LORD?" You will know, because if the LORD says something will happen, it will happen. And if it doesn't, you will know that the prophet was falsely claiming to speak for the LORD. Don't be afraid of any prophet whose message doesn't come from the LORD.
(Deuteronomy 18:21-22)

This passage is talking about God using a prophet, and how to test whether he is from God or not. The part I am interested in though is right in the middle:

‘You will know, because if the Lord says something will happen, it will happen.’

Over the past years, trying to hear His voice, I have found this to be invaluable. Often I have heard other voices in my head, and I wondered whether or not the voice belongs to my creator. I don’t usually think it’s from me because it’s not something I would suggest to myself. Some things I have been told will happen, and others I have been told to do. I came to recognize His voice after each event came to pass. Like when I heard that He would take care of my GPA. Now that I see that my GPA was taken care of, I believe in that voice.

Sometimes I have waited for months to see the outcomes, and other times I have waited for only a matter of seconds. Each time though His voice becomes more and more solidified in my mind. As well, my faith in Him is strengthened every time.

Even this blog post was an exercise in hearing His voice for me. I can honestly say that this is the most difficult one I have written thus far. I have written, rewritten, scrapped it, and started fresh. Also, the past two days have been some of the more difficult ones spiritually because I knew God wanted me to write it, but have allowed myself to be distracted. Do I know His purposes for me writing this blog? Not yet. He could just be using it to build me, or to strengthen one of His children, or something totally different.

As a final thought, I would like to say that the act of listening, is really an act of obedience. Many think they can’t hear Him, but truly they aren't willing to do what He says. If you are truly willing to do what He says, He will speak to you, and you will hear Him.

May 20, 2011

Thoughts on the Rapture

So with tomorrow being the believed rapture (by some), interesting thoughts came into my head.

Whenever this comes up I first think of the scripture that says we will not know the time, and of course I'm a bit skeptical and think how misguided they are. But then I realize they have something right that we generally don't. They're in the perspective that they should be preparing for Christ's return. Albeit I don't believe that the motivation is right, but that's how we should be living our lives. Regardless of the hour we should always live every moment to His glory, and in preparation for His coming.

We should always focus on the great commission as our goal.

I know I'm not the first to come up with this idea, but I think it's still important to bring it to the surface. I also believe that a lifestyle of living as if we are in the last days is completely do-able. If we listen to God's voice and let Him guide our actions instead of expending all our energy running around doing what we believe to be His will.

He moderates our life, giving us the actions to take, and the strength to carry them out. We are also refreshed in Him. His yoke is easy and His burden, light.