September 30, 2012

Listening to Him

Not sure where to start on this one...

How to explain this event? How to work into it?

I have this belief, this hope, that the God I'm chasing after, is more than a god, more than a king. Don't get me wrong, He is both God and King, but He is more.

You see, a god and a king have always been portrayed to me as a person who at their best cares for the greater good, the benefit of the population, but when it comes to the concerns of the individual, why would he care? Why would he take time to sit down with you and just talk? Why would he help you through your seemingly endless, and yet meaningless problems?

Yet I hope. Hope for a relationship with my God and King. I want to be the one that He talks to. And so I have sought and prayed to hear His voice speaking to me. For the last four years I have sought this kind of a relationship with Him.

It has been a long journey, many times I have thought I had heard Him, but it took time, and I often wondered if I was imagining the voice. So many of the things said were so easy to write off as logical thoughts for me to have. And yet I sought His voice.

Today is one of those days that reminds me of how far I've come. How the Lord has healed my ears to hear.

I was working on a project, and this one has many small rings. As I was adding this ring it dropped, as they do from time to time. It's a small silver ring on grey carpet, a needle in a haystack if you will. Unless the light hits it just right, these parts are very difficult to find. I decided to look for it anyways, hoping that He might lead me in the search, though seemingly insignificant (the part is worth a fraction of a penny).

I start looking for it where I think I heard it drop. Look for a few seconds. Then a voice chimes in.
"Look down idiot".

Let's pause there. Number one thing. Jesus doesn't talk to me like that, He doesn't talk to you like that. You are His, not as a possession, but as His one love. Though He can be stern at times, as a mother with her child, He will never cuss you out, nor will He demean you, nor will He yell at you.

However I know someone who does... the devil.

I ignored him, satan, I moved the table in front of me to get a better look at the spot that it had fell. Then to my sorrow, I found a ring, where the devil had indicated for me to look (keep reading, this is a terrible place to stop, it gets better). I was beat down, but not destroyed. My mind started running, trying to explain it away, maybe it was a different ring? Then I heard the voice that I Love, calm and still, but as unmoving as a, as well something unmovable!


He didn't need to tell me where to look, He didn't need to tell me how obvious of a find it was. I only needed to listen, and to obey. Not to look where satan had directed me, but to where I had started looking at first.

I looked. And I didn't see anything.
But I needed to know that my God is who He said He is. Regardless of whether there was a ring there when i looked the past two times or not, I needed to know He cared to speak to ME.
I needed to believe in HIM. HE could create a ring for me if there wasn't one there before. But I needed to believe in His word to me.


So I looked again, and there I found the ring. Separate from the first.
He spoke, and I heard, and I sought. He provided where there was once seemingly nothing.

Call it a coincidence. There just happened to be another ring there. "This kid probably has rings all over".
Let me ask you something though. Why are you still reading this?
You long for something more, as I do. Know that it can be found.


As are most of these posts, this is a reminder to me, for times of encouragement in my unbelief and to help me chase after Him. I hope these posts are also an encouragement to you, whether you walk with Him everyday, or if you have never found Him. Seek Him.

May 24, 2012

Joy and the Fulfillment of life :-) Or the start

(Or 'Turning a New Leaf')

What Star Trek reminded me of...

The most rewarding times in recent life, most fulfilling, even most joyful, are those in which I have sought after what God, and through Him and my love for Him, I, have wanted.

I have known that God wanted us to choose Him. Not to be forced to follow Him, but actually choose Him, of our accord, of our desires.

I believe this also translates into our lives. We must be obedient, but instead of, we need to love Him!

I chose to go to North Central
I chose to go to the altar
I chose to sing, I chose to make, and to build, and create
I chose to write
I chose to love nature
I chose to love life
I chose to love His people
I chose to love my God

No longer in obedience will I follow my Christ, my Savior, my Jesus.
I will follow Him with love with all that is within me!

To obey my God is to love Him:
"If you love me, keep my commands." - John 4:15

Life is no longer a box in which we must stay inside the borders to avoid sin. Starting in sin outside the border of the box, and moving into life, inside the box.

Rather life is outside the box, and inside is sin, where we start. After we leave the box of sin we move outside the border into obedience to Him. And even more so we grow and move from obedience into life, true life! Into a relationship with my creator!

I choose to go to the altar
I choose to sing, I choose to make, and to build, and create
I choose to write
I choose to love nature
I choose to love life
I choose to love His people
I choose to love my God

After all...
" that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me."
~John 4:31b

~In awe of His mercy, and His goodness, and His wonders, and what He has for me!
'Lord, never let me go back to where I was, but lead me, and watch over my steps as I grow into the fullness of what you have for me'

I chose to watch Star Trek ;-)

March 22, 2012


Let me paint a beautiful picture to you. The things that we as Christians dream of. A life on fire for our savior, to not care what the world has to say about us, because it's all for Him. A world on fire for Him. Passion for our savior sweeping through every town and village. Worship, true worship of Him. Unhindered unseparated by the things of this world, and the distractions of our mind. An unquenchable hunger for His word and to be with Him in prayer. A desire for His people. A fire that pushes us past our boundaries and into a world crying out for Him.

And so we dream. We sit back and silently cry when we hear of missionaries and distant revivals. And we ask, "can He use me?" We sink back, thinking that He could never use us. How could He use someone who struggles so hard just to live for Him each day?

Maybe it's not even wishing He would use me. Maybe I'm scared if He reaches out to touch me, and whispers in my ear "It's your turn." To fall off the cliff, gasping for breath, in utter abandon. How long have I fallen? Because once you step off, you're committed. There is no turning back. There is no midway. Your paradigm has changed. There is no longer forwards, backwards, and standstill. There is only forwards, and where ever He leads us.

But what do we fear? Is it the fall? Our what we will encounter in that fall? It's that risk. giving up our control. Trusting wholly in Him. But when have we ever been satisfied by normal? When do we feel alive? Whenever we have taken that step. Whether it's a step towards the altar. Thump. Or the step towards a crying stranger. Thump Thump. Telling that perfect someone how we feel. Thump. You hear that? Thump Thump. That's your heart beating. I'll bet you forgot about it. Because the heart that He gave you, it can take so much more. He made you for so much more.

I'm still scared.

But when He calls me. I pray I take the plunge before I think twice. To leap with abandon into what only God can see.